Observing Columbus Day

Growing up, Columbus Day was a lot like Flag Day. It's there, but beyond a little thought when you change the calendar, it basically gets ignored. It's ignored so much, you may not have even realized that it was yesterday. The only time I remember Columbus Day affecting me at all is once in elementary school. On Columbus Day one year, my history teacher told me a bunch of stuff about Christopher Columbus, much of which turned out to be lies.

Let me pause here for a second. Apparently my elementary school history teachers were liars. I've since found out that people knew the earth was round in Columbus' day, the Americans didn't win the revolutionary war by being the only ones smart enough to use cover (but that's a discussion for a potential spin-off blog: "Things I've Learned in Boston"), and that Donald isn't really a stupid-head. Okay, that last one may have been written in the book, not said by a teacher. And it may have been handwritten, not a part of the actual published work. And I may have had to follow instructions leading to pages 71, 236, 59, 28, 90, and 101 before I read it. And I may have been the one who wrote it.

Okay, back on track. Where was I? Oh yes, Columbus Day. Growing up in California, it was ranked behind numerous other random holidays, including Valentie's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Cinco De Mayo, and Cesar Chavez Day.

But in New York, Columbus Day is an actual thing. My housemate was surprised when I left for class. Then I got to campus and things got really strange. There were large signs around campus related to the holiday. There were people complaining that "every other workplace in America gets the day off." Right. Every other workplace. I didn't even get Veteran's Day or President's Day off at my last job, and those are real things. Still, I imagine that even a claim as ridiculous as that one has some basis in truth. It would seem that out here, Columbus Day is actually celebrated like an actual holiday.

And why not? He did, after all, discover America... y'know... after all the other people who were already living here. But you do have to admire him for setting an audacious goal and achieving it. Or at least you would, if his goal was to discover a continent and not to get to India. And the icing on the cake: Columbus cemented in history that white people cannot tell non-white people apart. Our punishment? Having to be confused because "Indian" can refer to either of two completely separate people groups.

There are benefits too, I suppose. What would we call Cleveland's baseball team? I suppose we could go the way of Washington's football team and name them after a racial slur. Or since Cleveland already has one team named after a color, maybe just the Cleveland Reds? Hm. On second thought, that may not work.

Anyway, the closest thing I have to a point is this: I like California's way better on this one. There are better holidays to make important. My vote goes to National S'Mores Day, because s'mores are delicious and August is the only month without a real holiday. Except April when Easter happens to fall in March. But my birthday's in April, so that's close enough.