Who Monitors the Monitors?

Because of this pesky thing I like to call "rent," I had to get a job when I came to New York. (Other pesky things include food, bills, and school supplies). I hit the proverbial pavement, and since then I've collected a few jobs, actually, since none of them individually would be able to support me. Of the two or three that I have, however, the only one that I've actually started (besides one hour of training for one of my programming jobs) is my lab monitor job.

Let me say this: if you are in school, a lab monitor job is the best gig you can get. In the 12 hours I've worked so far this week, I've had to clear one paper jam and tell a student that the air conditioning is broken. Other than that, I've done homework. And Sudoku. And crossword puzzles. Now, don't get me wrong. By no means do I think that having lab monitors is a waste of money. Lab monitors are like security guards: most of the time we just sit around, but that's the price you have to pay to make sure we're there when the problems do arise. Really, the main difference between lab monitors and security guards is that there are fewer derogatory nicknames for lab monitors.

But the fact of the matter is that most of the time we're not solving problems. Most of the time, I just sit here. And I say "here" rather than "there" because at this very moment I am monitoring a lab. I just looked around the room again, and everything is under control.

The problem is, however, that some students are not content with how easy the job is already. Apparently some people just don't bother to show up at all, and the omerta that is drilled into us all from our days on the playground lets them get away with it. I can't really complain, though, since I probably wouldn't say anything if someone didn't show up either. It's also possible to show up, but not do anything even if someone does have a problem. You know, there are times when I don't want to do anything, but even on a bad day I think I could handle doing ten minutes of work in the three hour shift I'm being paid for.

What's the solution? There are a couple of ways to go. One would be to get rid of lab monitors completely. I'm not too Keane on that idea though (if you got that joke, by the way, you are not only incredibly nerdy, you are also way too in tune with my strangely connected thoughts). While it would get rid of lazy lab monitors that waste university dollars, it would also make it harder on the students who are shelling out those dollars. Another solution would be to hire lab monitor monitors, who would watch us to make sure we're doing our jobs. The problem with this, is that they might not do that job well either. If there's one thing I've learned, it's not to underestimate the laziness of people. I think Jack Donaghy said it best when he said, "When you think about it, there is no answer." Of course, he said that because he didn't listen to what the other person was saying, but I think his point is strong nonetheless.

The bottom line is this: if you are already being paid to not do anything 90 percent of the time, don't mess it up for the rest of us by trying to be lazy 100 percent of the time.